Monday, March 31, 2008

Rejected Star Wars Product #4

What kid would not want a Tauntaun suit? All the other costumes that make it appear that you are riding something pale in comparison to the beauty of this costume. I did find a guy who built his own and it doesn't look half bad.

I am still hoping that Lucasarts will release this as an official costume. I'll wait for the "deluxe" version, you know, the one that doubles as a sleeping bag like one that Kenner released for the action figures years ago (which I had).

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Useless Fact - 3-29-08

FACT: People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.

A Hammock built for two

My wife has one of these hammocks built for two.
She never lets me use it.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Useless Fact - 3-29-08

FACT: Uranus' orbital axis is tilted at 90 degrees.

"I've been studying Uranus quite a bit lately, and I've found out a lot of things about Uranus that I didn't know before. I'm going to take a bit of time away from my usual routine to discuss Uranus with you. If you're looking for comedy, you probably won't be very interested. Uranus can be funny, but it can also be serious. Maybe you'll learn something about Uranus, yourself.

Uranus is huge. You could easily fit a planet like Mars inside Uranus several times over. Scientists are unsure about the exact size of Uranus, but studies are happening all the time. There are people all over the world studying Uranus right now. In fact, somebody you know might very well be fanatic about Uranus.

Nobody is quite sure what's inside Uranus. There is a lot of gas around Uranus, and there is much speculation about the kinds of gas inside Uranus. There is a lot of methane in Uranus. In fact, Uranus is constantly expelling methane, and producing more to make up for it. The atmosphere around Uranus probably smells a lot like methane. These gases make Uranus very flammable.

On a clear night, you can see Uranus without a telescope. Uranus is blue. Personally, I think Uranus is beautiful, but Uranus is very far away. In the future, we will all be able to see Uranus a lot better. Technology will effectively enlarge Uranus.

I am simply obsessed with Uranus, I tell people about Uranus all the time and they look at Uranus too. If you ever come to talk to me, you'll probably find that the moment you turn to leave, I will be looking at Uranus. Sometimes people criticize me for looking at Uranus too much. As long as you don't mind me studying Uranus, we can be good friends. Personally I don't find anything wrong with looking at Uranus. I think everyone should study Uranus a little.

As technology will soon enable people to visit Uranus. I would love to get closer to Uranus. People would need to wear a special suit to approach Uranus, but they would have to be careful - if they get too close, they could actually get sucked into Uranus. Nobody would ever find a person inside Uranus. And if their suit broke, the gases around Uranus could be very harmful.

Some people don't understand what's so important about Uranus. They think Uranus is nothing special. Some think Uranus is just full of crap. They don't realize that a lot of interesting and important discoveries have come out of Uranus. Studying Uranus has brought people closer together. One day, Uranus will get the attention it deserves. One day, Uranus will be on everybody's lips."

Text taken from

Rude Awakening

This morning, while I was pleasantly slumbering, dreaming about metal detecting, Ham Radio, Computers and other nerdy things, I was rudely awakened by my wife Amber, who while sleeping, was invaded by a baby spider which decided to crawl on her face. Instinctively, Amber swatted at the spider, but in her attempt to brush the spider off of her face ended up smacking me square in the back. Her attack didn't hurt, but it did wake me up.

I wasn't too happy.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Rejected Star Wars Product #3

OK.. I don't see why this idea was rejected by Pepsi and Lucasarts. It's a sunshade for your car. Who wouldn't want their car to look like it's being piloted by Han and Chewey.? That's all my pimped out ride needs to make it super nerdy is this shade. Well, that and a HAM radio antenna or five.

Useless Fact - 3-28-08

FACT: The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.

If you eat more than that you'll get indigestion.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Rejected Star Wars Product #2

This is another one of the rejected promotional items that Lucasarts and Pepsi thought up. It's a set of "Princess Leia's Hair Headphones". You just turn the bun on the right to adjust the volume. I guess they didn't make these because guys would look pretty awkward wearing these.

Maybe they didn't want to women walking down the street with these on and have guys yelling "nice buns!".

Useless Fact - 3-25-08

FACT: The Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off" in Chinese.


Monday, March 24, 2008

Rejected Star Wars Product #1

A long, long time ago (1999) in an office far, far away. Lucasarts and Pepsi got together and brainstormed on some promotional products. This is one of the rejects - A "Jabba the Hut Beanbag Chair". I have a Lovesac in my basement that is almost the perfect color for a "Jabba the Hutt" conversion. I would need at least another one or two more of the same size though.

Then, I just need to get my wife to wear a slave Leia costume and I'll be set!

Useless Fact - 3-24-08

FACT: Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people.


Thursday, March 20, 2008

He-Man was NOT a Doll!

Did your Dad ever harass you about your G.I. Joe guys, or your He-Man warriors? mine did. He would always come in when I was in the middle of an epic battle against the forces of evil whether that be Skeletor, Cobra, Darth Vader, or Lord Dredd (from Captain Power) and say to me and my friend "Quit playing with your dolls!". This t-shirt from has my response: "They're not dolls, they're action figures". It would make me so mad when he'd say this to me.

They ARE Action Figures Dad, Gosh!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Furniture for Medieval Nerds

If you are the kind of Nerd that enjoys wearing chainmail or attends Renaissance festivals, chances are you are a virgin would enjoy decorating your home with sculptural furniture like the “Subservient Dragon”glass-topped table. Or perhaps you would like to feel like the King of all Nerds sitting in the “Celtic Dragon" Throne.

Useless Fact - 3-18-08

FACT: Pac-Man, Namco's 1979 arcade game, was originally called "Puck Man". The name was changed when they realized that vandals could easily scratch out part of the letter "P".

OK.. So what would they have called a game about "Puck Man's" Mom?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Useless Fact - 3-17-08

FACT: 65% of all Elvis impersonators are of Asian decent.

"Rove me tender, Rove me sweet, Never ret me go. You have made my rife comprete, And I rove you so.

Rove me tender, Rove me true, Arr my dreams fulfirred. For my darrin I love you, And I arways wirr.

Rove me tender, Rove me rong, Take me to your heart. For its there that I berong, And werr never part.

Rove me tender, Rove me dear, Terr me you are mine. I'rr be yours through arr the years,
Tirr the end of time.

(When at rast my dreams come true , Darring this I know, Happiness wirr forrow you, Everywhere you go)."

Ice Shurikens

Never be unarmed again while drinking your favorite beverage. Ice Shurikens will not keep your drink cold, but can be used as deadly throwing objects. The cool thing is that once you have defeated your attackers using these frozen weapons, but they will melt leaving only a pool of water to baffle investigators.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Useless Fact - 3-14-08

FACT: About 1 out of every 70 people who pick their nose actually eat their boogers.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Useless Fact - 3-9-08

FACT: Picasso’s full name was Pablo Diego Jose Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Maria de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santisima Trinidad Ruiz Picasso.

How'd you like to baptize someone with that name?

Friday, March 7, 2008

Useless Fact 3-7-08

FACT: About 1 in 200 women are born with an extra nipple.

White and Nerdy

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Useless Fact 3-5-08

FACT: Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

A Sad Day For Nerds World Wide.

Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons passed away today at age 69 (he he) at his home in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. He had been in poor health, suffering numerous strokes and a near fatal heart attack.

His games and his influence to the role-playing game genre will be missed. I have many funny stories and fond memories of my youth playing Dungeons and Dragons with my neighbors and high school buddies. Playing D&D as we called it definitely kept us away from getting in trouble with girls, and helped my friends and I create the dreaded "2-liter" party. It's where you had to eat a whole large pizza and drink 2-liters of pop by yourself before the night ends without throwing up. Stupid as I was, I always tried to win. The only time I won I thought I was going to die. I just remember laying in the kitchen on the floor by the sink while my friends played D&D in the living room. I remember wishing that I'd throw up, but never I did. It was the longest night of my life. One time I filled up a huge glass of pop that almost emptied my 2 liter bottle and hid it. My friend Kelly thought I was going to win, and quickly drank the rest of his pop. He wasn't too happy when I revealed the rest of my pop in the large glass. That night he sat next to the sink wishing he would throw up while we played D&D.

Thanks Gary Gygax.

Useless Fact - 3-4-08

FACT: Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Daily Useless Fact - 3-3-08

FACT: Turtles can breathe through their butt.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I Can't Believe It's Butter!

Lately Avery has been spending a lot of time trying to read everything in the house from what' s on the pegboard to anything that comes in the mail. Today after church, Amber made grilled cheese sandwiches and left the tub of butter on the counter top where Avery was eating. After studying the letters on the tub Avery said to me:

"Dad, I know what kind of butter this is, it's Country Crotch".

No Avery, it's definitely NOT "Country Crotch".

NEW FEATURE - Daily Useless Fact!

FACT: A chocolate bar has an
average of 8 insect legs inside it.